I’m pretty sure I’m not bipolar….

     I’m writting this against my better judgements.  What’s my weight?  Today (and quite possibly all the other days to come from now), I don’t care.  I’ve only recently woke up from a dream.  It was a damn good dream.  One that seemed so lucid and real that I had no choice but to accept it as a reality.  I had no problems with that.  I can think of far worse dreams to be trapped in, but that dream was something else.  In it, I can feel the world finally openning up to me.  I could feel like my life which had stalled for so long can finally start.  I want to say that I could fly higher than I’ve ever flown before, but that’s not entirely true.  That and it sounds really corny.  Really though.  I really did feel like everything I’ve done before it was starting to make sense.  It felt like I can finally see where fate was taking me.  It was quite a dream.

     It must’ve been a dream.  How else can one explain it.  It was short, euphoric, and just plain old incredulous.  I was working in an office and liking it!  How much more incredulous can you get!  Like all dreams, it seemed to have ended in a random manner.  The last thing I can remember from that dream was buying shoes.  I remebered going to Sears to buy a $20 pair of shoes.  Yeah that’s it.  I went to the cashier and paid for it.  When the cashier handed me my shoes, I heard that ringing.  You know that ringing right.  It’s your alarm clock telling you to wake up and get back to the real world.  "Stop dreaming" shouted the alarm clock.  Worst part about waking up from a dream is that you can never go back to sleep to restart it.  It’s just gone.

     Apparently, I’ve been asleep for over 3 weeks.  That was some dream.  I remembered laughter, joy, desire, confidence.  It’s all gone now.  Back to that old self before I went to sleep only worse off.   Had I awaken earlier, I might have been able to get my old Department of Elections job back, but I missed it.  Before, I was able to float on by with EDD checks, but it’s all out now.  Somehow I managed to spend over two thousand dollars in the span of 5 months.  I know where 700 dollars of it went.  I also know where another 700 dollars of it went as well.  Beyond that, how in the world did I spend that much money?

     If you need me, I’ll be at home.  I’ll probably cancel my cell phone seeing how I won’t be able to afford it anymore.  I’ll probably stop driving seeing how I can’t afford gas.  If I sit still, I should be able to avoid spending money.  I wonder how much I can get for my PS3?  I’ll be at home, staring at $20 shoes which somehow manages to become real despite the fact that I bought it in my dream.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that dream was real.

     So I came in to work today expecting a fairly regular day.  As it turns out, we had to move our little section over to the next aisle if you will.  The transition was fairly painless.

     Posted on a TV in the new aisle is an Onion article about a new "fad" in corporate America called "Pre-Fired".  You can basically guessed what that’s about.

     My coworker next to me talked about how she once quit this job because of how horrible the boss was.

     During break time, another coworker talked about how his brother was getting out of the industry he was working in.

     While I had my leg crossed, I realized that I needed to get new shoes STAT!

     1…2…3…4…5.  5 signs!  5!  Who knew fate likes to signal their curveballs!

211,

     Anyone who have played Soul Calibur have heard these words before.  It just seems even more relevant now more then ever.  Welcome to the third "Welcome to Sega" day/week/month.

     I knew that everyone who works with me at Sega are gamers of varying degrees.  I just never really, really internalized that until break time.  The second that break time started is the second people break out games they brought from home to play during break time.  Almost everyone crowds around one or two PS2s playing 2D fighters.  Damn shame I don’t play 2D fighters.  I just really, really suck at  them, but fate smiled on me (Thank you fate!).  Someone busted out Soul Calibur 3.  Suddenly I was a little kid again.  I was so excited that I literally couldn’t stand still waiting for my turn.  When I finally got to play it, I was giddy.  Rusty as hell, but giddy nonetheless.

     My relationship with Soul Calibur needs some illuminating for those who doesn’t know it.  Way back in 2002 when I was still in SF State, I didn’t have any friends outside of the ones I made in high school.  Per my philosophy on friends, I don’t go out of my way to make new ones.  After college, however, you’ll notice that I did make new friends.  I managed to make exactly one new friend from the classes I had.  The rest, around four,  I got because of Soul Calibur.  The student union at SF State had a Soul Calibur 2 machine, and being the Soul Calibur addict that I was even before college, I played that machine to death.  From there, I met so many others who plays.  We had some good times with that game, experimenting with characters, refining our techniques, and just plain old horsing around some times.  Like a lot of other groups of people, life imposed its reality and basically dispersed the group.  I think our group followed the series on our own afterwards, but without the community, the fun was simply not there for me.

     That’s why having the chance to play Soul Calibur 3 with other people again after all these years is so momentous to me.  Kinda like how music can define an entire generation, Soul Calibur helped to define me during college.  No teacher or class had more effect on me than Soul Calibur did.  Sad isn’t it.

     The other day, I was in the neighborhood of my old Alma Mater and decided to check out the student union to see what’s changed.  Much to my chagrin, the Soul Calibur 3 machine, the next iteration in the Soul Calibur series, is gone.  I knew that the Soul Calibur 3 scene is basically dead, but not seeing it at the student union just makes it more real to me.  At least I’ll always have the memories.  The torch may have been doused, but the fire still burns for me.

211,

     Welcome to the second day/week/month of my Welcome to Sega theme, and I’m using the external definition of that phrase.  Not the internal definition.

     Now that I have this awesome job, playing video games at home has become even more important to me now.  Yes, I know that I "play" games at work, but seriously, they’re not the same thing.  It’s kinda like rocket scientist building rockets for NASA VS making a rocket to shoot up in your backyard.  One’s work.  The other one’s play.  In fact, if I were playing video games at work, I’d be fired!  The word that you’re looking for is "test".  I "test" games at work.  I go up to walls and see if I can walk right through it.  I let enemies kill me.  I fall off platforms on purpose.  I do weird combinations of things to see if it would crash the game.  I find anyway possible way to make the game crash permanently.  Does any of this sound like playing to you?

     When I play games at home, it becomes far more invigorating after hours of testing a game.  On days where I don’t play a video game, I feel a bit empty inside.  Weird.

209,

     …And the last time I blogged was…Wow!  Over two weeks ago!  Sorry about that.  The whole sleeping earlier to get to work thing plays a number on you.  Especially now that playing video games at home becomes guilt-free since I have a job and all that.  Since this topic of my new job is rather vast, I’m gonna break it up into sections.  You know what that means don’t ya?  It’s Welcome to Sega week… or month…or whenever the hell I feel like blogging.  Let’s start with todays’ topic.

     The namesake of this blog and this week’s theme is "Welcome to Sega".  Did you know that it has multiple meanings?  Aside from the fact that it’s written on a piece of paper at the receptionist’s desk, this phrase is widely used inside as well.  Well I wouldn’t say widely used really.  It’s used by the Sega veterans, but not so much by the new guys.  Here’s how it works.  Boss tells new guy to test game X.  Boss tells new guy to concentrate on any sound problems game X might have.  Boss gives new guy a TV to work on.  New guy connects game console to TV.  New guy turns on TV.  "Hey!  This TV has no sound," exclaimed new guy.  I think it’s busted," .  "Welcome to Sega" said boss as he walks away.

     eeeeeeyeaaahh this job is gonna be interesting.

210,

     What is up with me and blogging these days?  I have so much I want to write about.  Why aren’t I blogging more?  I joined the Bay to Breakers (Finally) and had a blast.  I wanted to blog it, but I forgot.  It kinda just stuck that way.  Also, I finally got a job.  Again I didn’t blog about that either.  Such a momentous week, and none of it was recorded here.  whatever.  I’m rectifying one of those mistakes right now.

     As you may recall, I had a job interview for a game testing consultant position back in May 11.  Last Thursday, they had me go to Sega for a game testing interview.  That interview also went amazingly well.  How many job interviews can you think of start off with the question "So what games are you playing right now?"  I breezed through it, and later that day, I was informed that I got the position.  I start bright and early, emphasis on early, tomorrow.

    Here I stand (sit really) on the final minutes of my about-to-be-previous existance.  The little sphere or reality I’ve carved out for myself since my last job at the Department of Elections is about to come to an end.  A new one with so many unknown variables is about to start.  "How do I feel," I ask myself.  I’m a little bit scared.  I haven’t felt this in a while now.  I suppose that’s a good thing.  I hear change is good for you.  Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

208,

(The freakin’ Internet Explorer crashed before I finished this blog!   This is a rewrite of it)

     The world record people.  Not the beer people.  The story I’m about to tell you belongs in Guiness World record for the most messed up, screwed up, and just generally evil story…EVER!

     My friends and I were playing Golf on Wii Sports the other day.  We were on the last hole of the game, a very difficult course.  I managed to get the ball close to the green.  All I wanted was to get the ball as close as humanly possible to hole, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  I had to contend with the very strong winds and the topography of the green itself.  I adjusted my aim for both relying only on sheer instinct and experience as guidance.  I made several practice swings to achieve the right power level for the hit.

     Finally, I made the hit.  The power was exactly where I wanted it to be.  The ball flew in the arc I had hoped it would.  It landed about a foot away from the hole.  It bounced.  It landed…into the hole.  "OH MY GOD!  I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!"  This unexpected twist came out of nowhere.  All I wanted was to land near the hole.  Instead it went in!  I couldn’t believe it!  It was too good to be true!  There is a God!!!….and then the ball bounced back out of the hole.

     Right before my very eyes, the ball jumped out of the hole as if dissatisfied with the accomodations.  "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"  As I scream in horror, my friends just started laughing.  I’ve never seen Lemon laugh so hard in my life.  All I could do was sit there with my hands clutching my forehead and shake my head in disbelief.  In the end, I had the best score for that course compared to everyone elses, but it could have been even better.  SSSSSIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHH!

207,

     I don’t know why I go to these things.  All they do is make me feel like a total loser.  It’s like rejection letters from colleges or something except in person or every girl you’ve ever asked out and said no except all at the same time.  Yup, you guessed it.  I’m talking about job fairs.  Everytime I go to these things, I end up with a huge bruise on my ego, and it wasn’t even that big to begin with.  If I had a nickel for everytime I feel like a loser at these things, I wouldn’t even need a job.  Why am I even going to one of these things anyways?  To make connections?  I don’t think so.  To find a job?  Hah!  The best reason I can think of is like playing a lottery.  On some off chance that some company is looking for any simpleton to fill in their lowly position, I could be that simpleton!  Well, wish me luck.  I’m going this Friday, and you know what.  I might as well go see Pirates of the Caribbean while I’m at it.

208,

     My blog is turning into a weekly affair.  It’s not bad really.  I don’t have to rack my brain to come with something interresting everyday.

     So guess what I did today.  I went to a job interview.  How’s that for a change of pace?  Stranger yet is the job I’m trying to get.  It’s a video game tester job.  I’ve been avoiding this job like the plague ever since I heard about the horror stories of being one.  Your job is to try and break the game afterall.  It’s the equivalent of someone asking you to take a shower with broken glass instead of water.  I like playing video games, and I really don’t want some job to ruin that for me.  Unfortunately, these are desperate times, and you know what that calls for.  The funny thing is just how qualified I am for this job.  I realized that while I was sitting there being interviewed by this nice lady.  This feeling of being…competent for once is very alien to me.  Where can I get more of that?  Suffice it to say that the interview went very well.  Let’s hope I hear back from them.

205

     Ages and ages ago, when I was still in SF, I stumbled upon an interesting music video.  It wasn’t on TV though.  I downloaded it off of the now defunct WinMX (a very Napster like program but don’t tell the Music Industry.  Like I said before, I’m really broke).  I don’t remember what the song was, but I remembered the video.  Well, not exactly that either.  I just remembered that it was basically a bunch of in-game movies from the Final Fantasy games cut and pasted together to the rhythm of the song.  From there, I went on an obsessive hunt for more homemade stitched together Final Fantasy music videos.  I found a lot of them on WinMX.  Some I liked, but a lot of them were no good at all, at least according to my sensibilities.  I can remember how I obsessively stay up into the wee hours of the night waiting for a certain video to download from a very, very slow host.  On occasion, I left the computer on over night just so a certain download of a very rare music video would be complete.  You see, sometimes I come across some videos that’s own by exactly one person.  If that person isn’t logged on, I can’t download it.  For some videos, I would watch the search result screens very closely for hours hoping that one rare video would show up.  Fortunately for me, this obsession died down around the time I moved here.  If only that was the end of the story.

     About 9 months ago, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I decided to go look at that new fangled website everyone raves about, YouTube.  Why?  Why did I do that?  I took a look around, and found a motherlode of these Final Fantasy music videos.  The firestorm was reignited with a vengence.  My first day on YouTube, I spent over 4 hours looking at all the different music videos.  Wanna see my stash?  For about a week afterwards, I would scour YouTube for more videos.  Thankfully, a certain amount of boredom sets in.  You can only see the final cutscene of Final Fantasy X so many times you know.  But Wait!  There’s more!

     About a couple of months back, my mom decided to focus her energy into photography.  She was always into it, but before, she also had a slight fascination with video cameras.  Now she wants to just deal with cameras which leaves a certain video camera idly gathering dust in the corner.  That is until I asked for it.  She gave me her camera, and I went giddy over the possibilities of what I can do with it.  You see, it can act as the bridge between my computer and my game consoles.  That’s right!  I dived into the world of making those Final Fantasy music videos.  Last week, I posted my first video, and this week, I posted another.  I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop this train.  Let’s see where it takes me.