I’m pretty sure I’m not bipolar….

206,

     So my two-day break turns out to be a four-day break.  So sue me (Please don’t.  I’m really broke).  What have I been up to in the last 4 days.  Being the unemployed guy that I am, not much.  Still rocking out to Guitar Hero 2.  Big surprise!  I’m starting to realize that I’ll never be a real accomplished guitarist.  Or a pianist.  Or a singer, and especially not a drummer.  No matter what I do, I always go faster than the beat of the music.  It’s really, really hard to not go faster.  It kinda feels like you’re holding your breath too long when you’re trying to stay in beat.

     What else?  What else?  Well, I’m working on another article for Helium website.  It’s a general guide for parents on how to buy games for their kids.  It’s a little bit harder than I expected.  Right now I’m still on my first draft.  I’m hoping to get it posted by Thursday or something.  Here’s hoping to another penny to my name.

     I’m starting to reach an impasse with my situation with her.  I really do want to get to know her better.  But I don’t think I can just go up to her at her workplace and ask her outright.  Can I?  I mean is it appropriate?  The only other option to this would be to approach her after she gets off work on her way out.  I don’t know why, but that sounds stalkish to me.  I’m really stuck.  What do you guys think.

     That’s all I can think of for today.  See you next time.

209,

(Author’s note: Friendster was closed for maintenance while I was writting this blog.  It should have been posted at around 1 AM, but I had to post it in the morning instead.  Fortunately, I saved it first this time around)

    One entire month of consecutive blogging!  We did it!  Well actually, I did it!  You guys just happen to come along for the ride.  What a month it has been.  From the mild cases of depressions to getting a job, I’ve been through a lot in the past month.  Who knew this much stuff happens in a month!  I’m glad I did it.  All I have to do is dedicate myself to something, and I achieved it.  Who knew that would actually work.  I’m proud of myself.  So proud that I’m going to take a two day break from blogging.  I hope to come back stronger than ever!  I hope you guys enjoyed the little ride I took you guys on.  It’s been weird.

208,

    I really must learn to blog earlier.  Stupid Guitar Hero.

• Speaking of which, They made 9 songs available for download on Xbox Live.  Must…resist…temptation…
• Guess who’s birthday it is today.  Apparently it’s Alan’s, the guy who got me a job, and I didn’t get him anything!
• Fortunately, I stopped by a movie theater and bought some gift certificates.  Can’t think of anything else.
• Tomorrow is my last day as it turns out.  Only a half day too.
• What does Indian food taste like?  I’ll be eating it tomorrow.  Hope I can handle it.

     Well goodnight folks.  I hope you’re looking forward to my one month streak which will be official one I blog tomorrow night.  See you then.

205,

     I rocked out a little too long on Guitar Hero today, so I’ll keep it short.

• My Helium article made a penny today!  I don’t know why, but it did!
• I hate shaving.  I really do.  It seems to me I can never get rid of the shaving bumps.
• Tomorrow might be my last day at my job. 
• I can’t wait for "Hot Fuzz" to come out in theaters.  I saw the preview for it and couldn’t stop laughing about it.
• I’m falling behind on my video games again.  Must catch up during the weekend.
• the month long aniversary of my blogging streak draws near…
• I finally drank a can of soda yesterday.  After 40 long days, Lent is over.
• I either need a new scale or my weight likes to fluctuate wildly.
• I wonder how much money did I make from this job?  My calculations seems to suggest at least $500, and that’s only in 4 days.

     Goodnight everyone.  Don’t let the bedbugs bite!  I hear they’re back.

205,

     Another day, another dollar.  It’s good to finally be able to say that again even if it won’t last that much longer.  After work, another phrase I finally get to say again, I decided to stop by my new favorite video game store to see you-know-who, and no I don’t mean Voldemort.  Now, the other day, I "happened" to find out the car she drives.  On my way into the mall, I saw it and decided to take a closer look.  It’s a Thunderbird something-something.  All I know is that it’s a Thunderbird.  The inside was a mess.  Bags, clothers, old parking permits, old plastic cups.   I wondered how in the world does she manage to sit in it let alone drive it.  Seeing the clutter in her car made me realize something.  I said to myself verbatim "My god, she’s more of a guy than I am."  Of course, for all I know, the Thunderbird was a hand-me down from her parents or sibling, but who knows.  Maybe she really did pick this specific model for herself.

     So I went into the store, and sure enough there she was behind the counter.  From the looks of things, she was doing some upkeep while another guy took care of the customers.  I didn’t want to bother her.  So I decided to just talk to the other guy make it look like I’m just a customer, albeit a frequent one.  I asked them about the one game that’s been on my mind the past few days.  Let’s just say I really wish he said "No, we’re sold out."

     So I didn’t get to talk to her, and I’m $98 poorer, see Lemon I told ya.  You could say that I should’ve never went to the store, but I came out with a grin anyways.  What can I say?  Girls (women?) I have crushes on always make me giddy even if I didn’t say a word to them.  Not to mention that after 2 years worth of Guitar Hero abstinence, I’m finally no longer a Guitar Hero virgin.  I rocked on after dinner accumulating 40 achievement points.  My gamer score is finally 3000 strong.  How could I not smile at the end of the day?  Oh right…

     So I was perusing the 1UP.com website just now and came across a disturbing news item.  Red Octane, the publisher of Guitar Hero, issued a statement that two specific guitar models are defective, and mine just happens to be one of those two models.  According to them, I should go back and trade it in with a different model, but I’ve been playing it for like half an hour without any problems.  Unless it’s the 5th button which is kinda like the holy grail of playing Guitar Hero I didn’t feel like anything war wrong.  Now I’m kinda torn if I should even bother going in to change models because maybe mine just happens to be one of the lucky ones that wasn’t defective despite it being the same model number.  I don’t know.  I need some sleep.  I’ll figure it out tomorrow.

210,

     Had a huge lunch today.  No wonder why I’m 210 lbs!  Oh well, I’ll just re-jumpstart my diet tomorrow.

     I got the Guitar Hero 2 for Xbox 360 bug, and I can’t shake it.  Somehow I managed to put off Guitar Hero 1 for this long despite the fact that I love Guitar Hero.  I think a whole bunch of other games came out at that time.  Now that Guitar Hero 2 is in glorious HD and widescreen and I have nothing to play for my idling 360, I feel like I’ve run out of excuses not to get it.  Oh well, I’ll just stare at my bank account until I get my senses back.  It might just work.

208,

     I really should blog about today seeing how…memorable…it was, but I’d rather talk about Helium.

     Yes, Helium, also known as He, is the second element of the periodic table.  It’s element number is two and has two electrons circling the nucleus of two protons.  Helium is the second most….AH! who am I kidding, nobody cares about helium.  I’ll just talk about the Helium website I found.

     So I found this website called Helium.com the other day.  It’s kinda like Wikipedia.  Helium contains a whole multitude of articles concerning different things like how do you buy an antique car or which student loans is best for you.  More importantly, each of these articles were written by the users of Helium.com.  Even more important, these writters who are just average joes who signed up can get paid for contributing to Helium.com.  The second I read that, a little lightbulb went off in my brain.  I wanted to write, and I could definitly use the money.  So I instantly signed up and even contributed an article all in the span of 10 minutes.  Here’s a link to my page.  At the bottom, there’s a link to my article, the same article I used to try and get a job at 1UP.com.  I’m still trying to figure out how the pay system works, but rest assured, I’m going to become a prolific author at Helium.com.

210,

     Today’s weird.  I haven’t worked in over 5 months, and it feels really, really weird.  I would always have to remind myself that I’m at work just so I wouldn’t do anything stupid like fall asleep or fart.  Besides that though, it’s more or less like I’m back at school doing some art project with a friend.  I guess that’s the best part about this "job" I got.  First of all, I believe the "company" is about 7 people big.  Second, our "office" is a loft.  No cubicles to navigate.  No office smell which mainly consist of toner if you ask me.  The whole vibe of the place feels very relaxed.  The task at hand, however, is anything but.  I spent the whole day literally testing cables.  Half the time they work up to specs.  The other half was very disheartening.  You see, signals sent from the computer to whatever electronics it’s sending to degrades past the 100th foot, and that’s exactly what is involved in our projects.  They came up with setups that hopefully bypasses these degradation problems, but the equipment is used to its limits to do so.  Our luck have not been good so far.  I’ll be back Monday to tackle these issues once again.  Even though it’s only been one day, I already miss video games.

206, (Phew)

     No, I didn’t make a mistake.  I don’t mean a light at the end of the tunnel.  I mean a light in the tunnel.  You see, I got a job!  Don’t get your hopes up.  It’s only for two days, but if they like me, they might call me back later if they need more help.

     A very, very, very good friend of mine, Alan, happens to need some help at his job.  He talked to his bosses to see if he can get himself extra help, and he picked me!  The bosses agreed, and I’m in.  All I have to do is set up a bunch of PCs for use.  I can do that in my sleep, but I won’t, sleep that is.  I’ve learned my lesson.  The job pays 18 bucks an hour for probably 16 hours total.  This isn’t the light at the end of the tunnel of unemployment.  This is just a little hanging light in the tunnel, but at this stage, I’d take a candle flickering in the wind if I have to.  This is definitly a reprieve I needed.

210, (DAMN WHAT DID I EAT TODAY!)

     (authors note: due to technical problems in Friendster(?) I was unable to post this blog last night.  This does not constitute a breaking of my streak.  To compensate, this blog which was previously written last night before Friendster broke down is posted before noon of 4/5.  I repeat, I have NOT broken my streak!)

     This blog is a little late.  It should’ve been posted last week, but I was in the middle of theme.  Anyways, as Lemon and Steve could attest, I was a little bit gloomy last week.  The funny thing was what triggered it.  It all started when Steve told me that the NY trip he had in mind might become a reality.  I was of course excited at first, until I analyzed my finances.  I realized that the most I could spend for this entire trip is only $900.  Considering the cheapest round trip ticket Lemon found was around $300, that doesn’t leave me very much wiggle room financially.  I’d be in NY, but I’d be doing so with only $600 to work with.  On top of this, the plan is to spend 4 days there.  The thought of having only $600 for a 4 day vacation in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. brought a dark cloud over me.  Also, I realized that a trip like this might interfere with me finding a job.  I can’t take a job with an impending 4 day trip coming so soon.  They’re not going to want that.  To make matters worst, later that night, I came across an article about why people should be vegans.  Needless to say, I felt sick for not being a vegan.  The thoughts of the slaughterhouse industry in the U.S. brought in some other global concerns from deep within my mind.  Global warming suddenly resurfaced.  And then the thought of contributing to both sicken me even more.  Then I saw gas prices inching its way to $4 which brought me to the issue of Iraq which made me wish I can solve the world’s problems with a snap of a finger, BUT I CAN’T!  I JUST CAN’T!  I CAN’T TAKE ANY OF THIS!….

     I think this was the time when I shut down.

     When I came back online, I was at Sam’s house playing Rayman Raving Rabids.  Man that was fun.  I couldn’t get enough that ice game where I keep knocking Lemon into the holes in the ice (you had to be there to understand).  That was when I realized that I had to put on my blinders.  The thing to understand about my bouts of depression is that it always starts small.  From there, it escalates to basically a full blown depression.  Past experience have taught me that the best way to deal with this is to narrow my vision.  That’s why I call it "putting on my blinders".  If I can resuppress all those other wories back into the depths of my mind and just focus on one simple, achievable goal, I can feel better again.  I’m feeling much better now.

"Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

-Mark Twain