Through a looking-glass darkly
Monday, July 11th, 2005My friend and I were talking the other day. The lucky bum has a girlfriend while I’m still “looking for the right one.” At one point, he asked me, “What are you looking for in a girl/woman.” I can’t remember if he said girl or woman, which is a whole different Blog issue which I won’t get into here. As usual, I gave the standard issue of answers (funny, talkative, if at all possible good looking). Nothing profound or even remotely insightful as to who it is of the opposite sex I would very much like to spend a great portion of my time with. That night, however, I did come to one realization, but it’s best if I go into a tangent first before I reveal this epiphany of mine.
Ever since another friend of mine realized he can plug his Ipod into my car stereo, I have a tape adapter for it, he’s been using it every chance he gets. Every time we go somewhere in my car, he immediately reaches into his pocket for his Ipod and with my help plug it into the car stereo. Now this is where I must walk on a tightrope. Although there are some songs that we both enjoy our music taste is not totally the same. Hell, no two people will ever have the exact same taste in music. Fact is, I’ve always known that I can play my Ipod in my car, but I’ve always worried about playing stuff that someone in the car just doesn’t like. I worry too damn much about what everyone thinks of my music, but since this isn’t my Ipod, I’m relieved of that burden. All I have to do is endure it. So, I endured his music. I enjoyed all the songs that I liked, stayed quiet during the ones I don’t have an opinion on, and twitch during the ones I don’t like. From what I know about his full library of music, he has yet played everything in his Ipod. He keeps most of the Chinese songs out of the play lists. I’m grateful for that at least. After a while, I decided it’s time. It was time for him to endure my music. I’ve paid my dues listening to his music, now it was time for me to get my share of the airwave. Surely he would pay me the same respect. Surely he would stay quiet through the ones he doesn’t like. Surely the Giants is going to win the world series this season. Surely Osama bin-Laden will turn himself in along with all the Al-Qaeda solely due to their guilty conscience.
I guess you know where this is going. To be fair, let me give you a possible sequence of music from my Ipod by artist.
U2, Sting, A-Teens, Norah Jones, Default, Michelle Branch, Noemi, Enya, Nobuo Uematsu, Norah Jones, DJ Sammy, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Bone Thugs N’ Harmony…
Diverse isn’t it? I know that no one, and I mean no one, can possibly like every single song that spews out of my Ipod, than why was I shocked to hear him say with absolute indifference “Next.” I guess I was really deluded to think that people might for 4 minutes in their life step out of their shoes into someone else’s. As much as I wanted to completely smack him out the door, without stopping the car mind you, I skipped it and said “Yeah I didn’t think so.” I had to keep my finger on the skip button every time I play my Ipod in the car. Although I understand and completely acknowledge his unwillingness to listen to music he doesn’t particularly like, I still resented it. I resented how I said nothing during his Ipod sessions while he didn’t give my Ipod session much of a chance. I resented it so much that I started to deny his Ipod access to the car stereo. I don’t do it very often though. I only do it on days I feel my patience is a little short.
Of course he knows nothing about this. That is until now. He reads this blog regularly. Not even sure why I decided to risk this openly. Well, here’s what I’ve decided to do about it. I’ve decided to give him free reign over his Ipod in the car again while I create a play list on my Ipod specifically made so that other people may enjoy it. Why am I capitulating completely? Simple really. I understand. I know that I’m going to run across music I’m not going to like, and I know that no one is going to like all of my music. The only reason I was so angry back then was because I deluded myself of these two simple facts. I understand it now, and I won’t look back.
Long tangent wasn’t it? Now on to the epiphany.
I now know one absolute requirement for the girl with whom I want to spend an exorbitant amount of time. She has to understand how I like music. Not why I like music, but how I like music. My experience with the Ipods have taught me that I have to "filter" myself with other people, but I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to have to "filter" myself with a girl that I can fall in love with. I want her to see me, not some censored picture. I want her to understand so that I can be who I am completely. Let me have this one, and the rest won’t even matter.
